![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
takethisforexamplePosting twice in the same day, huh...
I've put it off. I need to write. I got the punk show entry out of the way, and I knew that one would be hefty, but I wanted to write about yesterday as well. I took Vic back up north with me for the day and we went around North Jersey, visiting friends and running errands and all that. I've had other people's substances stashed up in my place for too long and I have an ethical obligation to deliver the goods to my friends. Clients? Who knows. Lily and Vic got to meet, and they got high in my car while I drove on the highway. Then we went up to Rockaway to get a stereo that my buddy Justin picked up for me awhile back. He wasn't home but instructed us to basically break into his garage, so it all worked out. We went to Trader Joe's and saw some of my former coworkers which was so refreshing. Then the part I was looking forward to the most- we visited Amanda at Stevens Institute. It was her birthday recently and I always miss her to bits here at college. I wanted her and Vic to meet, so us and Amanda's roommate, Shelly, all hung out and talked and played Uno until 9:00 hit and we had to go home.
But just, God. All day was great. I love the people who make me feel loved. There are always so many hugs and enthusiastic conversations to be had. The last time I did a daytrip up north, I went alone and was feeling sort of dejected... I think I wrote an entry about looking out at the skyline alone in October and just longing for something. I think maybe I've found it. I feel like I've been able to have stronger relationships with the people in my life recently, literally in every aspect. And the way Amanda hugs me so tightly, and the way my dad slips me $25 of his tip money against my will, and the way Vic and I still laugh after 12 straight hours of hanging out, that just proves it to me. That's always the hardest part.
Life has been really, really good recently. I don't know if it's my doing or just good luck. Whatever it is, it makes me almost apprehensive. If it's too good to be true, it probably is. Nothing lasts forever. At least that's what I'm told, but I don't have to heed those messages to understand that the contentment I have right now should not be taken for granted. I think about it everyday, how long it will stay and how long it will be before it leaves me. But in the meantime, I think I'm living a life that I've wanted for a very long time and I want to remain mindful of that. Maybe the difference was feeling loved versus being loved. There's a difference to me. As much as I want to hold onto this feeling forever, I think I should humbly let things come and go as they please. I don't want it to lose its potency, after all. But a few more weeks like this would be nice.
Thanks, Universe.
My car, Breakfast, and the NYC skyline:
I've put it off. I need to write. I got the punk show entry out of the way, and I knew that one would be hefty, but I wanted to write about yesterday as well. I took Vic back up north with me for the day and we went around North Jersey, visiting friends and running errands and all that. I've had other people's substances stashed up in my place for too long and I have an ethical obligation to deliver the goods to my friends. Clients? Who knows. Lily and Vic got to meet, and they got high in my car while I drove on the highway. Then we went up to Rockaway to get a stereo that my buddy Justin picked up for me awhile back. He wasn't home but instructed us to basically break into his garage, so it all worked out. We went to Trader Joe's and saw some of my former coworkers which was so refreshing. Then the part I was looking forward to the most- we visited Amanda at Stevens Institute. It was her birthday recently and I always miss her to bits here at college. I wanted her and Vic to meet, so us and Amanda's roommate, Shelly, all hung out and talked and played Uno until 9:00 hit and we had to go home.
But just, God. All day was great. I love the people who make me feel loved. There are always so many hugs and enthusiastic conversations to be had. The last time I did a daytrip up north, I went alone and was feeling sort of dejected... I think I wrote an entry about looking out at the skyline alone in October and just longing for something. I think maybe I've found it. I feel like I've been able to have stronger relationships with the people in my life recently, literally in every aspect. And the way Amanda hugs me so tightly, and the way my dad slips me $25 of his tip money against my will, and the way Vic and I still laugh after 12 straight hours of hanging out, that just proves it to me. That's always the hardest part.
Life has been really, really good recently. I don't know if it's my doing or just good luck. Whatever it is, it makes me almost apprehensive. If it's too good to be true, it probably is. Nothing lasts forever. At least that's what I'm told, but I don't have to heed those messages to understand that the contentment I have right now should not be taken for granted. I think about it everyday, how long it will stay and how long it will be before it leaves me. But in the meantime, I think I'm living a life that I've wanted for a very long time and I want to remain mindful of that. Maybe the difference was feeling loved versus being loved. There's a difference to me. As much as I want to hold onto this feeling forever, I think I should humbly let things come and go as they please. I don't want it to lose its potency, after all. But a few more weeks like this would be nice.
Thanks, Universe.
My car, Breakfast, and the NYC skyline:
