Ricky's Turn
Jan. 10th, 2022 08:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
takethisforexampleI adopted a cat. His name is Gibraltar, after the island in Ohio (not the British Overseas Territory). He's 8 months old and a bit of a handful, but I think I chose well. He's a good cat as far as I can tell. It's only been two days after all.
I still can't believe I was able to somehow pull this off. I'm even more excited to go back to college and have something to come home to besides the lizards and my psychotically clean room. I hope Gibs stirs up some chaos to keep me on my toes, but judging by the state of my curtains at the moment, I think he's doing a pretty good job.
The anxiety has been hard on me lately and I can't say I'm in the best shape. That's why I'm happy to say I'm seeing a therapist again, this time over video call, but I'm not complaining. I met her for the first time today and it as a positive experience. She specializes in the highly specific OCD behavior that I deal with, something I've never received the right care for so I'm really hopeful that it will work. While this may be my last option left, it is also the one that's most likely to work. This, in combination with Gibraltar, should help me stay balanced while at school.
As for Pequannock, well, a new layer of contention has just been thrown atop an already overwhelming pile. I'd honestly rather not talk about it because it's a waste at this point. Six more days until I'm home and happy again, and with another $750 in my pocket to last me while I get settled with my courses and find a job there. As for now, I guess I'm still in limbo. Frankly, the thing getting me through at the end of the day (as much as I hate for my happiness to be largely contingent on people) is the company of my friends. Especially Corey, who always manages to brighten my mood after a long day and end on a pleasant note. Connor and Amanda are great as well, although I talk to them less frequently. I'm really appreciative of what my friends do for me, even if they don't think much of it. I could go on for hours about it probably, but I don't think that's healthy.
And for the other things going on in my life, I've actually been struck with a spell of workplace drama recently. The story is too long and too confusing to explain fully, but essentially I made an unintentionally mean-spirited joke after one of my coworkers lied about something to me. I don't know why she lied to me, I don't care to know, and all I want to do is apologize to the person I hurt because of it. To keep it somewhat short, I discovered that a group of coworkers have been purposely setting up one of our managers to harass and gaslight her. I was under a different impression until I heard someone I considered a friend talking about how he and a few others manipulate the situation against her. I only found out because we all decided to pull a prank on her and it snowballed out of control. It's honestly really sad and I feel horrible about it, but I'm also disappointed in my coworkers for believing the bullying is deserved. I decided yesterday to take responsibility and tell management what was going on behind the scenes and the manager I told, Dan, described my confession as "emotional and mature" so I think it was the right way to go. Still, this was not a side of my workplace that I wanted to see or be apart of. You live and you learn I guess.
This week might be stressful with all that's happening. It will all pass soon enough though. I've got my ducks in a row for this upcoming semester and I'm excited to be learning and living again. Now I have a cat, a therapist, a brand new THC cartridge, and a good hunk of cash. Honestly, everything's coming up Ricky. Let's finish out this week strong.
I still can't believe I was able to somehow pull this off. I'm even more excited to go back to college and have something to come home to besides the lizards and my psychotically clean room. I hope Gibs stirs up some chaos to keep me on my toes, but judging by the state of my curtains at the moment, I think he's doing a pretty good job.
The anxiety has been hard on me lately and I can't say I'm in the best shape. That's why I'm happy to say I'm seeing a therapist again, this time over video call, but I'm not complaining. I met her for the first time today and it as a positive experience. She specializes in the highly specific OCD behavior that I deal with, something I've never received the right care for so I'm really hopeful that it will work. While this may be my last option left, it is also the one that's most likely to work. This, in combination with Gibraltar, should help me stay balanced while at school.
As for Pequannock, well, a new layer of contention has just been thrown atop an already overwhelming pile. I'd honestly rather not talk about it because it's a waste at this point. Six more days until I'm home and happy again, and with another $750 in my pocket to last me while I get settled with my courses and find a job there. As for now, I guess I'm still in limbo. Frankly, the thing getting me through at the end of the day (as much as I hate for my happiness to be largely contingent on people) is the company of my friends. Especially Corey, who always manages to brighten my mood after a long day and end on a pleasant note. Connor and Amanda are great as well, although I talk to them less frequently. I'm really appreciative of what my friends do for me, even if they don't think much of it. I could go on for hours about it probably, but I don't think that's healthy.
And for the other things going on in my life, I've actually been struck with a spell of workplace drama recently. The story is too long and too confusing to explain fully, but essentially I made an unintentionally mean-spirited joke after one of my coworkers lied about something to me. I don't know why she lied to me, I don't care to know, and all I want to do is apologize to the person I hurt because of it. To keep it somewhat short, I discovered that a group of coworkers have been purposely setting up one of our managers to harass and gaslight her. I was under a different impression until I heard someone I considered a friend talking about how he and a few others manipulate the situation against her. I only found out because we all decided to pull a prank on her and it snowballed out of control. It's honestly really sad and I feel horrible about it, but I'm also disappointed in my coworkers for believing the bullying is deserved. I decided yesterday to take responsibility and tell management what was going on behind the scenes and the manager I told, Dan, described my confession as "emotional and mature" so I think it was the right way to go. Still, this was not a side of my workplace that I wanted to see or be apart of. You live and you learn I guess.
This week might be stressful with all that's happening. It will all pass soon enough though. I've got my ducks in a row for this upcoming semester and I'm excited to be learning and living again. Now I have a cat, a therapist, a brand new THC cartridge, and a good hunk of cash. Honestly, everything's coming up Ricky. Let's finish out this week strong.
