Gendahfluid
Dec. 7th, 2021 10:01 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
takethisforexampleSince the semester started I've had quite a few uncomfortable encounters with people who just don't have a grasp on gender identity at all. Either that or they are deliberately disrespectful to me on purpose. Being non-binary and asking people to respect your pronouns (mine are they/them) is a great way to see how much a person is willing to understand you, and although my friend Vic is great with it, I can't say the same for other people at my university. I am still astonished by how little effort people are willing to afford me.
Things were good for the first month and a half. I'm not some pronoun Nazi who constantly bashes people for messing up my name or pronouns when I meet them. I don't get ridiculously uncomfortable by it either, and this has never been a problem. However, when you have to remind someone over the course of months to use your fucking pronouns it gets annoying. This one girl in my Mass Communications course, Jayda, is a repeat offender of wrong pronouns and although I've kindly asked her multiple times, she never improves. One of the hardest parts about being trans for me is being forward about these things because I don't like being a forward person. However, it has reached a point where Jayda makes the same degenerate excuse each time. Finally the other day I put my foot down and straight up told her how disrespectful she is for not even trying. And of course, the same daft apology. I don't care if it's the end of the semester. If she does it again I will straight up tell her how dislikable she has made herself.
In addition to Jayda, a couple weeks ago I realized that my professor in Mass Comm didn't even change my name in her roster. It wasn't a problem with attendance before so I didn't think anything of it. Until the other day when she announced my deadname to the class, which was bad by itself, but immediately after she corrected herself and so now everyone in that class knows my deadname. When I hear that name it fills me with dread. What made things worse was that a transphobic asshole in my class named Steve referred to me by it. If I weren't in class I would've hit him. I want so badly to tear the shit out of that guy, but I can't. The same kid told me he "doesn't have pronouns" so I stopped using them for him when I speak to him. I only refer to him by his name, Steve, and it's funny because he tries to be nice about it. Whenever someone messes up my name or pronouns in class, Vic and I just look at each other and laugh about the absurdity of it. The degree to which people just don't give a shit is amazing.
Aside from that, I've had professors mess it up innocently and just not know the etiquette of what to do in that situation. I'm not going to blame people for not being educated about the interests of trans people. But it definitely pisses me off when we are required to give our pronouns for something. I know it's supposed to create a "safer space", but my pronouns are something I'd rather not share until I talk one on one with someone and I know many people are the same way. It's annoying and pretentious for people to go around sharing their pronouns in my opinion. But I don't speak for everyone, I like to be more private about my gender identity and expression and I wish no one would even ask about it, frankly. I'm more than enthused to explain things to close friends or people who approach me because they want to learn. But I don't like having my pronouns on display like that, I don't like being exposed.
I'm definitely nitpicking. I didn't come out in high school so I never dealt with transphobia in person before. Online it's so easy to block people or humiliate them, but I can't beat the shit out of Steve/Steveself in class. I swear I don't even think about my gender identity until people pull shit like this. I didn't make a choice to be genderfluid. Maybe when the semester ends I'll invite that Steve kid out to a dark alley and kick him in the balls.
Things were good for the first month and a half. I'm not some pronoun Nazi who constantly bashes people for messing up my name or pronouns when I meet them. I don't get ridiculously uncomfortable by it either, and this has never been a problem. However, when you have to remind someone over the course of months to use your fucking pronouns it gets annoying. This one girl in my Mass Communications course, Jayda, is a repeat offender of wrong pronouns and although I've kindly asked her multiple times, she never improves. One of the hardest parts about being trans for me is being forward about these things because I don't like being a forward person. However, it has reached a point where Jayda makes the same degenerate excuse each time. Finally the other day I put my foot down and straight up told her how disrespectful she is for not even trying. And of course, the same daft apology. I don't care if it's the end of the semester. If she does it again I will straight up tell her how dislikable she has made herself.
In addition to Jayda, a couple weeks ago I realized that my professor in Mass Comm didn't even change my name in her roster. It wasn't a problem with attendance before so I didn't think anything of it. Until the other day when she announced my deadname to the class, which was bad by itself, but immediately after she corrected herself and so now everyone in that class knows my deadname. When I hear that name it fills me with dread. What made things worse was that a transphobic asshole in my class named Steve referred to me by it. If I weren't in class I would've hit him. I want so badly to tear the shit out of that guy, but I can't. The same kid told me he "doesn't have pronouns" so I stopped using them for him when I speak to him. I only refer to him by his name, Steve, and it's funny because he tries to be nice about it. Whenever someone messes up my name or pronouns in class, Vic and I just look at each other and laugh about the absurdity of it. The degree to which people just don't give a shit is amazing.
Aside from that, I've had professors mess it up innocently and just not know the etiquette of what to do in that situation. I'm not going to blame people for not being educated about the interests of trans people. But it definitely pisses me off when we are required to give our pronouns for something. I know it's supposed to create a "safer space", but my pronouns are something I'd rather not share until I talk one on one with someone and I know many people are the same way. It's annoying and pretentious for people to go around sharing their pronouns in my opinion. But I don't speak for everyone, I like to be more private about my gender identity and expression and I wish no one would even ask about it, frankly. I'm more than enthused to explain things to close friends or people who approach me because they want to learn. But I don't like having my pronouns on display like that, I don't like being exposed.
I'm definitely nitpicking. I didn't come out in high school so I never dealt with transphobia in person before. Online it's so easy to block people or humiliate them, but I can't beat the shit out of Steve/Steveself in class. I swear I don't even think about my gender identity until people pull shit like this. I didn't make a choice to be genderfluid. Maybe when the semester ends I'll invite that Steve kid out to a dark alley and kick him in the balls.
