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Today I had a few of what seems to be my final formative experiences. It's weird to think that these type of memories can never be made again due to my mental and emotional obligations at this age. I feel like today was the beginning of the last chapter of my childhood, and so I am trying to enjoy it as much as I possibly can, almost desperately.
We had a small party today for the side of my family that I don't get to see as often, which includes my two aunts and uncle, grandparents, and my two cousins. Maggie is my youngest cousin at the moment, and she is 4. I have a lot of little cousins, but I am not great with young children and have felt quite negative about them up until very recently. Today I made an effort to get to know Maggie because she is probably the last cousin I will get, and she does pique my curiosity despite being so young and oblivious. I want to put effort into being a part of her life because I have never navigated any relationship with a young child. There is so much to learn from them.
Maggie likes to draw with chalk and play with water guns. She also likes playing my keyboard and looking at everything on my bookshelf. She didn't want to leave my room because it is "so pink" and she enjoyed being in it. She is an energetic and happy kid, which I gathered from her general excitement about everything. I found it endearing. Children have a type of easily obtainable admiration founded on their curiosity, and I think that's where familial love begins to blossom. Little kids come to love you very quickly. This was my first time actively creating memories with Maggie and getting to know her as a kid, so I was surprised when she held hands with me to show me something or hugged my leg just because she felt like it.
Maggie, like all young kids, is tremendously impressionable. It feels like an honor to pass down undoubted moral knowledge to a child who requires such lessons in their early years. Today Maggie was afraid of the carpenter ants in my driveway, so I picked one up and explained that they are living creatures that pose no threat to us. She watched the ant crawl on my leg intensively for a few moments with an expression so innocent and full of wonder that I could actually see the gears turning as she assumed a new opinion of ants. It was fantastic. It makes me feel very old in comparison, despite still having these sort of bright-eyed epiphanies once in awhile in my own life. But nothing beats the whimsical worldview of a child, and to see it vicariously is completely different. This is something I can now deduce for certain thanks to my little cousin. I really am thankful for the time I was able to spend with Maggie today. With the end of my childhood comes the beginning of hers. It really is an amazing thing to watch.
We had a small party today for the side of my family that I don't get to see as often, which includes my two aunts and uncle, grandparents, and my two cousins. Maggie is my youngest cousin at the moment, and she is 4. I have a lot of little cousins, but I am not great with young children and have felt quite negative about them up until very recently. Today I made an effort to get to know Maggie because she is probably the last cousin I will get, and she does pique my curiosity despite being so young and oblivious. I want to put effort into being a part of her life because I have never navigated any relationship with a young child. There is so much to learn from them.
Maggie likes to draw with chalk and play with water guns. She also likes playing my keyboard and looking at everything on my bookshelf. She didn't want to leave my room because it is "so pink" and she enjoyed being in it. She is an energetic and happy kid, which I gathered from her general excitement about everything. I found it endearing. Children have a type of easily obtainable admiration founded on their curiosity, and I think that's where familial love begins to blossom. Little kids come to love you very quickly. This was my first time actively creating memories with Maggie and getting to know her as a kid, so I was surprised when she held hands with me to show me something or hugged my leg just because she felt like it.
Maggie, like all young kids, is tremendously impressionable. It feels like an honor to pass down undoubted moral knowledge to a child who requires such lessons in their early years. Today Maggie was afraid of the carpenter ants in my driveway, so I picked one up and explained that they are living creatures that pose no threat to us. She watched the ant crawl on my leg intensively for a few moments with an expression so innocent and full of wonder that I could actually see the gears turning as she assumed a new opinion of ants. It was fantastic. It makes me feel very old in comparison, despite still having these sort of bright-eyed epiphanies once in awhile in my own life. But nothing beats the whimsical worldview of a child, and to see it vicariously is completely different. This is something I can now deduce for certain thanks to my little cousin. I really am thankful for the time I was able to spend with Maggie today. With the end of my childhood comes the beginning of hers. It really is an amazing thing to watch.
