Stranded in Paradise
May. 23rd, 2022 01:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
takethisforexampleI’m depressed. There’s not much else to say. I hate when this happens because most of the beauty of life just gets sucked away and I can’t force myself to feel better because if it were that easy, I’d never be depressed. No amount of rational thought can fix it. “It’s in your head!” Yes, good job, where else would it be? Where did you think it was? A fair bit is hormonal, admittedly, but I don’t think “my glands” is a great answer to the question.
Recently (as in the last month) I have been sleeping for 11+ hours a day when I usually sleep for eight or nine. I stay in bed for a couple more hours because I can’t think of anything good to do, even if I have projects to work on. I burned some CDs and stuff last week and that’s basically it. The motivation is completely gone. Honestly, I couldn’t even tell you what I do all day… I watch a lot of House now. I eat like, one meal a day. And I talk to people online. Vic hasn’t really been keeping in touch so I have literally no one in real life to talk to and hang out with, at least no one my age. I know that’s why I’m always sad and listless. I feel kind of like a bird who lost its eggs and has nothing to sit on, nothing to take care of, only time to waste until next season. I desperately crave company and I can’t think of a single way to get it since everyone is home for the summer. Meanwhile I’m trapped here at Stockton.
My drug use hasn’t been bad like it was the last time I was like this. In fact, I’m smoking much less weed. When I do it makes me feel normal and happy and I think that’s how people become addicted to things like that so I’m taking it easy. This being said, I cry so regularly now that I make sure I get it out before I shower or wear makeup. It is tempting to just be high all the time. Living like this is so fun and quirky!
This is all that has been on my mind really. I could tell you about The Exploited show or seeing The Dead Milkmen last week but it’s the same old story. Get high, end up on stage, leave covered in various unknown liquids, you know the drill. My radio show is up and running though so that’s been the one good hobby I’ve really been holding on to right now. 2-4 PM EST on Mondays, 91.7 WLFR. If anyone reading this cares to listen, you can find the streaming link easily online.
I’m going to Georgia soon. The 1st of June to the 5th. Maybe that will get my spirits up for at least a little while. I’ve been swimming and hiking by myself so at least I stay kinda active. Still, as good as it is to enjoy summer, something is just holding me back and I wish I could sleep the next two months away or something. Or maybe the universe can bring me a best friend to swim and hike and watch House with. Please?
Recently (as in the last month) I have been sleeping for 11+ hours a day when I usually sleep for eight or nine. I stay in bed for a couple more hours because I can’t think of anything good to do, even if I have projects to work on. I burned some CDs and stuff last week and that’s basically it. The motivation is completely gone. Honestly, I couldn’t even tell you what I do all day… I watch a lot of House now. I eat like, one meal a day. And I talk to people online. Vic hasn’t really been keeping in touch so I have literally no one in real life to talk to and hang out with, at least no one my age. I know that’s why I’m always sad and listless. I feel kind of like a bird who lost its eggs and has nothing to sit on, nothing to take care of, only time to waste until next season. I desperately crave company and I can’t think of a single way to get it since everyone is home for the summer. Meanwhile I’m trapped here at Stockton.
My drug use hasn’t been bad like it was the last time I was like this. In fact, I’m smoking much less weed. When I do it makes me feel normal and happy and I think that’s how people become addicted to things like that so I’m taking it easy. This being said, I cry so regularly now that I make sure I get it out before I shower or wear makeup. It is tempting to just be high all the time. Living like this is so fun and quirky!
This is all that has been on my mind really. I could tell you about The Exploited show or seeing The Dead Milkmen last week but it’s the same old story. Get high, end up on stage, leave covered in various unknown liquids, you know the drill. My radio show is up and running though so that’s been the one good hobby I’ve really been holding on to right now. 2-4 PM EST on Mondays, 91.7 WLFR. If anyone reading this cares to listen, you can find the streaming link easily online.
I’m going to Georgia soon. The 1st of June to the 5th. Maybe that will get my spirits up for at least a little while. I’ve been swimming and hiking by myself so at least I stay kinda active. Still, as good as it is to enjoy summer, something is just holding me back and I wish I could sleep the next two months away or something. Or maybe the universe can bring me a best friend to swim and hike and watch House with. Please?
