The Boys Are Killing Me
Dec. 18th, 2021 07:16 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
takethisforexampleOne thing on my bucket list that I was able to cross of the other day was plainly labeled “hang with The Boys”. There are no specific Boys in mind, I’ve just always had the desire to chill with a group of guys who call themselves “The Boys”. You know, just some dudes who are really close with each other to the point where they can shed all those masculine expectations set for them. From the outside, those groups of people always look so content and comfortable, even if they are doing stupid shit. I feel like, given my disposition, it’s the hardest type of group to infiltrate because of my sex so it has been on the list for awhile. I think I’m a little scary to most straight men. But I checked it off the other day thanks to Vic.
Vic grew up in Trenton with two people, Rony and Denzel, who are now his closest friends. He told me all sorts of stories about what it was like living in a poor area growing up and how their relationship got stronger as they got through it together. They were together almost every day apparently, mostly hanging out and getting high and sometimes shoplifting entire carts full of stuff from Walmart. But from the way Vic described his friends, I could tell they were both very interesting, intelligent people. Mostly because Vic is, too. Vic and I were both excited for me to one day meet them. Sure enough, that was the other night.
Something about being in a men’s dorm after 8:00PM feels a bit cursed. When I arrived, everyone was already baked and it was exactly what I anticipated from the so-called Boys. It was me, Vic, Rony, Denzel, and Vic’s roommate, Matt. Two of them were intently contemplating a game of chess, and the other two were playing Super Smash Bros. I received a brief cheer when I walked in, and immediately took a seat. Denzel asked me a lot of questions about myself and we had this great conversation about media. It’s so interesting, I’ve never met a guy like him before. He’s hilarious, to begin, but also really good at holding a conversation in a way that doesn’t feel one-sided. Same thing with Matt, who is a Literature major and was telling me about what his courses were like. They were so sweet and welcoming, and not in some weird creepy chivalrous sort of way. I immediately felt part of the group.
I’m quite analytical of that type of stuff. Conversations and dynamics and things like that. It’s really not every day that you can encounter a group of new people you feel instantly comfortable around, especially me since I always feel like I have to perform in groups like that. Admittedly, I overthought some things and probably said things that came off as sort of awkward ir nervous. I’m not known to be tactful. But they just don’t care, and that’s the difference. In situations like that sometimes I prefer to sit back and observe instead of actually interact, but I didn’t feel limited to that. One thing I found interesting was how a group of cisgender men could naturally generate a conversation on abortion (an agreeable one at that) and be so well spoken about it. I don’t meet a lot of men like that. Seriously, it was surreal. And really fun. REALLY fun. At one point we all crowded into Rony’s Toyota and went to the convenience store, where Denzel covered our ice cream costs and we all chilled out and watched a movie. They were such enthusiastic and kind people that I was able to loosen up for the first time in awhile, Vic and I have been so busy that it was much needed.
Vic also seemed pretty happy with how things went. He said it was exactly how he thought us meeting would go. I’m glad it went that way, too, just for his sake. Unfortunately, Rony and Denzel go to different colleges so they don’t come around often. But when they do, evidently I’ll be there for it because according to them I am now one of The Boys. Mission achieved.
Vic grew up in Trenton with two people, Rony and Denzel, who are now his closest friends. He told me all sorts of stories about what it was like living in a poor area growing up and how their relationship got stronger as they got through it together. They were together almost every day apparently, mostly hanging out and getting high and sometimes shoplifting entire carts full of stuff from Walmart. But from the way Vic described his friends, I could tell they were both very interesting, intelligent people. Mostly because Vic is, too. Vic and I were both excited for me to one day meet them. Sure enough, that was the other night.
Something about being in a men’s dorm after 8:00PM feels a bit cursed. When I arrived, everyone was already baked and it was exactly what I anticipated from the so-called Boys. It was me, Vic, Rony, Denzel, and Vic’s roommate, Matt. Two of them were intently contemplating a game of chess, and the other two were playing Super Smash Bros. I received a brief cheer when I walked in, and immediately took a seat. Denzel asked me a lot of questions about myself and we had this great conversation about media. It’s so interesting, I’ve never met a guy like him before. He’s hilarious, to begin, but also really good at holding a conversation in a way that doesn’t feel one-sided. Same thing with Matt, who is a Literature major and was telling me about what his courses were like. They were so sweet and welcoming, and not in some weird creepy chivalrous sort of way. I immediately felt part of the group.
I’m quite analytical of that type of stuff. Conversations and dynamics and things like that. It’s really not every day that you can encounter a group of new people you feel instantly comfortable around, especially me since I always feel like I have to perform in groups like that. Admittedly, I overthought some things and probably said things that came off as sort of awkward ir nervous. I’m not known to be tactful. But they just don’t care, and that’s the difference. In situations like that sometimes I prefer to sit back and observe instead of actually interact, but I didn’t feel limited to that. One thing I found interesting was how a group of cisgender men could naturally generate a conversation on abortion (an agreeable one at that) and be so well spoken about it. I don’t meet a lot of men like that. Seriously, it was surreal. And really fun. REALLY fun. At one point we all crowded into Rony’s Toyota and went to the convenience store, where Denzel covered our ice cream costs and we all chilled out and watched a movie. They were such enthusiastic and kind people that I was able to loosen up for the first time in awhile, Vic and I have been so busy that it was much needed.
Vic also seemed pretty happy with how things went. He said it was exactly how he thought us meeting would go. I’m glad it went that way, too, just for his sake. Unfortunately, Rony and Denzel go to different colleges so they don’t come around often. But when they do, evidently I’ll be there for it because according to them I am now one of The Boys. Mission achieved.
